Wednesday, July 7, 2010
JUST A PISSED OFF PAWN
you know WHAT pisses me off!!!!! When someone uses you and they make you think something that is a fallacy is actually worth hope.....FUCK YOU JEB!!! I wish i had not ever met you, and gone along with your stupid fucking relationship bullshit!!! I hate the fact that I was threaded along funny shit was I was completely myself and you even asked me to do manipulation shit. why im venting on facebook?! because this is your stupid nerd ass world I FUCKING HATE YOU. What you did hurt, and I was so fucked by it till I realized that you were a big dick and I was a pawn, funny how the only one playing a game was you. you are rotten and I wish you the best in life. I hate how im too nice of a person and so gullible to think of the good in people. I am glad i got over in time to make a new start douch~~~~> GOD that i dont believe in, please dont send me anymore douches I fear i will try to will myself away from them. but being who i am will probably be too nice. fuck ya'll. this pisses me off. not ready for shit just tell me im a fucking pawn. asshole! a fucken transitional girl like always. thats what I am, see me use my kindness and fucken make wreckage in my world....when is it enough.
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wow well the first break is the hardest. awe one day Ill find it but till then well i dispair too much, this guy I messed with in Ohio. Im leaving him too he was the first married man I will be with. and the last. I dont respect myself to fuck a married man. but with him I cant help it. its okay. I dont want to mess with anyone else. I am actually trying to be celebate. with wanting him in a push him away for his own good sort I think I cant do just that. because I am always epic, dramatic, and lost. for a while with him I actually felt not lost. being back in my moms house away from him my heart hurts, worries, but you see thats how all my withdrawals from the men I fall to easily in love with go. only difference is with him I promised I would never tell him. I am crying so hard right now as I work through all the possible ways I live without him and I cant think of one way. I will manage tho.
ReplyDeleteon saturday night he said he was drinking, 80 proof vodka and redbull, cherry bombs. Ive never had one I told him that, I also asked him to pour me one. I felt great heartache that night all of a sudden which made me text him and he said he was drinking. GAWWWW! and all I could think was drinking why? drinking to forget? I did that once. Owwww! but instead I talked to him about things I could handle. sex, and liquer till my phone died. wow! I need to updated this blog.
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