In my epic quest to match someones soul I found my soul in the sanctity of a friend, I found that love can be plutonic in a friend and that if it is meaningful stupid shit doesn't matter. She is a best friend that my be a twin sister split at birth. I know that it may seem weird but fuck it! 'Family' gets on your nerves and you still love 'em. 'Sisters' are just the same, see I smoke weed with her in all honesty and so we talked about the guys that we are endlessly scorned by eand yet like they are our liqiud 'coke'. I can't help that I fell in in what feels like love with a dog that promised himself to another girl, and has me on the side. He told me today, after I basically said it that he is 'Washingtons' boyfriend when she is home and my fuck buddy and friend (if you could call it that) when she is in DC at college. Fuck if it hurts. Fuck if it feels good. Shit I say, her drug is a man that is engaged, only difference is she knew he had a girlfriend. I didn't know my lsworn bestfriend' had a girlfriend. I don't want to be that girl in love with that guy who is sworn to his beloved but I let my guards down and trusted the wrong smooth operater. I just want someone so in writing this I was inkling a thought on the gravel outside the bar that I frequent Friday nights and so I will take one last time, steal it from him and not give it back, sorrows goodbye. I don't say goodbye but to him I will. My one goodbye. I can't say that I won't trust to love again for it would be a falasy but to my sorrow I know that there will be another someday just not soon. So here I sit learned that I love my friends they teach me the world over to love and that's all I can ask for. Love lost, love held love tomorrow love today live forever and eternity. I will enjoy life and friends.
So to learn to relax and love is what I have. So I sit here at the bar, with friends, no guy to hold and I am content, hurt soul deep but thabnkful to have loved and learned. Shit! :)(:
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